The Six Stages of Black Friday Shopping

The Six Stages of Black Friday Shopping

November 20, 2018

Whether you like it or not, Black Friday isn't going anywhere. There's been a movement over the last few years with companies taking a stance against opening Thanksgiving night, opting to let their employees spend time with family instead of making them fight off an angry mass of strangers looking for a new flat screen. I mean...that's what Friday's for, amirite? 

Presenting: The Six Stages of Black Friday Shopping

Stage 1: Gettin' Jazzed

Thursday night, eating pie thinking about all the money you got coming your way tomorrow morning. Just the thought of all those new puffer vests at closeout prices. 🤗🤗🤗 The anticipation is real. 

Stage 2: Showin' Up 
It's 6 a.m. and you arrive at the mall. You and moms have matching t-shirts to commemorate the event. Would you expect any less? Coupons, comfortable shoes, and a peppermint mocha in hand- you are ready to dominate these sales.

Stage 3: Securing the Product
Cheat, lie, or steal. Whatever it takes to get what you came for. It's not like this is the season of giving or anything. When else are you going to see a deal this good? Never.

Stage 4: Overcome Adversity
In any event like this, you're bound to slip up once or twice. Don't let that Nancy over there bring your spirit down. So what, you fall into the cooler of sausage? Get back up. Even if that means you do get back up and fall again into the orange juice. Black Friday isn't a sprint- it's a marathon! 

Stage 5: Nurse your Wounds
After a day of getting trampled at JCPenney, head home and get healthy. Ice your shoulder and bandage up those blistered feet. A sprained ankle is a minor price to pay for all the cash you saved. 

Stage 6: Avoid Stages 1-5 
Want the best piece of advice? Shop our Black Friday deals and avoid stages 1-5 all together. Stay home, make a turkey sandwich, and move the least amount possible. We promise you, there's nothing in Walmart worth getting trampled over. 

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